“Arby’s is life.”
That’s what Pusha T told Pitchfork in 2015, and for several months this year Arby’s was, if not my life, certainly on my mind. That’s because I agreed to undertake one of my most important journalistic assignments: visiting and rating all 10 locations in Dane County.
In order to fairly complete this assignment, I graded each location based on the same criteria: food, service and ambience. Since the food at each location was ordered on a whim, I tried to keep the food ratings on a relative scale — but life is not always fair, and neither is this listicle.
829 Bunny Trail
Sun Prairie
To set a baseline for this list, I needed to start with the most classic Arby’s purchase I could imagine.
My order: Roast beef sandwich and curly fries
As I entered the Sun Prairie location, my memories of the substandard Arby’s in my hometown of Eau Claire faded and were replaced by clean counters, dark wood-paneled walls, booths popping with colorful stripes and Edison bulbs hanging over the tables.
A bell was positioned near the door for customers to acknowledge the good service they received. This happened a handful of times while I was there, with the staff giving a full-hearted “thank you” to each.
On the other side of the restaurant, there was a small television showing early afternoon ESPN and a couple families with small children enjoying their lunch. I stationed myself somewhere in the middle and dug into my meal. The curly fries were gone before I remembered I had ketchup. This was partially because of how delicious they were and partially because of the “barrel of monkeys effect” that happens to curly as opposed to straight cut fries.
But the other Arby’s staple on my tray fell flat. The roast beef sandwich is an Arby’s original. Its two ingredients — thinly sliced roast beef and a bun — make it one of fast food’s simplest sandwiches. However, the roast beef seemed low quality to me. I know this complaint might sound ridiculous for a fast food sandwich, but for $5 with only one ingredient between the buns, I think my pickiness is justified.
Food: ★★★
Service: ★★★★★
Ambience: ★★★★★
4002 E. Washington Avenue
My order: Fish sandwich and onion rings
Friend’s order: Fish pita and curly fries
A Friday during Lent (yes, this whole thing took a while) seemed like a perfect time to try one of Arby’s fish options. We were presented with our food less than a minute after ordering — 57 seconds, to be exact, which seemed uncomfortably speedy even by fast food standards. But once we dug in, my friend claimed his fish pita was “better than Culver’s.” I will not go that far, but if you find yourself in a religious fast with only fast food restaurants to choose from, you could do worse than the Arby’s fish sandwich.
At this stop I continued my tradition of accidentally pulling the searing hot onion from out of its shell and onto my chin.
Overall, the staff here was extremely friendly. We were asked so many times at our table how our meal was going that I began to wonder if the employees suspected I was an undercover reviewer. (I was.)
The restaurant was decorated much differently than the Sun Prairie location. It had bright red and teal walls that seemed Solo Jazz-inspired. My friend appropriately pointed out that it reminded him of a pediatrician’s waiting room. The customers, however, reminded me of a geriatric waiting room. My friend and I felt a bit like fish out of water.
Food: ★★★
Service: ★★★★★
Ambience: ★★
1603 Landmark Drive
Cottage Grove (I-94)
My order: Turkey gyro and a Jamocha shake
The Jamocha shake is one of the few reasons I’d ever visited Arby’s in my childhood. This Arby’s staple blends coffee and chocolate into an ice cream shake that’s good to the last drop. On this visit, however, it was my confidence that was shaken. The Jamocha shake has gone the way of Space Jam, Furbies and Surge as nostalgic items that are better left remembered than actually re-experienced.
Although this location ran out of gyro meat halfway through lunch, the turkey made a great impression off the bench. Maybe Pusha T had a point when he said people should eat Arby’s for Thanksgiving. The meat complemented the gyro sauce surprisingly well, and the 2-for-$5 price point is extremely competitive.
The inside of the building somehow felt even more like a waiting room than the last location. Large ferns breathed life into the beige walls while Mandy Moore’s “Extraordinary” played on the radio.
Food: ★★★
Service: ★★
Ambience: ★★
4884 Country Trunk Hwy V
De Forest
My order: Smokehouse pork belly sandwich and potato cakes
Continuing my strange case of Arby’s FOMO, I once again ordered from the limited time menu, this time opting for a smokehouse pork belly sandwich. Arby’s takes great pride in how long they smoke their meats. If you’ve got the interest and the patience — and if you’re still reading this, you probably do — there’s a 13-hour YouTube video of their brisket getting smoked. My sandwich consisted of two thick pork belly cuts smothered in cheese, barbecue sauce and, for some reason, mayo. This sandwich had good flavor, and for about the same price as a large roast beef sandwich, it’s an Arby’s steal!
For the side I was expecting to get some type of fast food potato pancake monstrosity, but I was relieved when the potato cakes turned out to be just some triangular hash browns. They were a little too thick for my taste, but the side menu at Arby’s is pretty limited once you get past the curly fries.
Unfortunately, my visit happened to perfectly coincide with a school bus full of teenagers pulling up to Arby’s. This seemed to frazzle the cashiers as they tried to scramble to fill the registers, but they handled it well and most of the kids walked across the parking lot to Culver’s anyway.
Food: ★★★
Service: ★★
Ambience: ★★★★
1609 S. Park Street
My order: Corned beef and buffalo chicken slider, loaded curly fries and a Mountain Dew Game Fuel
Friend’s order: Smokehouse brisket sandwich and curly fries
I’m going to start with the good news: This is the only themed Arby’s restaurant in Dane County. You can enjoy your meals next to pictures of Jim Morrison, The Beatles and Louis Armstrong. They also had some fun succulents next to the tables, and it’s the only Arby’s to share a parking lot with Bob’s Copy Shop.
Okay, now for the bad news: The floors were sticky, the service was slow, the bathrooms were straight out of a horror movie, and the bubbly personalities found in surplus at past locations were totally absent here. Instead, shouts could be heard from the kitchen saying they forgot to make my sliders or set a timer for the curly fries. My friend found what he described as a “fuzzy” in his food, which I would have taken a picture of if I hadn’t been busy taking a picture of my corned beef slider:
The loaded curly fries seemed like a menu item that was a little forced and the exclusive Mountain Dew flavor doesn’t stand up to the Taco Bell variety, but these complaints are just afterthoughts here.
Food: ★
Service: ★
Ambience: ★★
2763 County Road N
Cottage Grove (I-39/90)
My order: Chicken cordon bleu sandwich and mozzarella sticks
After three weeks of post-Park Street soul searching, I decided to give Arby’s another try. This location is connected to a gas station, and despite sharing a bathroom, the interior of the restaurant was very pleasant. They even had mints!
Cordon bleu, as everyone already knows, is french for “blue ribbon” and the chicken version consists of chicken breast that is pounded thin and then rolled up with ham and swiss cheese. The sandwich version at Arby’s stacks the ingredients between two buns, but the idea is still there. And if it doesn’t quite deserve a blue ribbon, it certainly deserves red or something.
The mozzarella sticks tasted like the mozzarella sticks from your high school. I feel extremely confident in saying that.
Food: ★★★★
Service: ★★★
Ambience: ★★
8321 Murphy Drive
Middleton
My order: Turkey bacon and ranch sandwich, jalapeño poppers and an orange cream shake
The sandwich isn’t much more than the stereotypical “hurried dad lunch,” but the bacon had good flavor, the bread was surprisingly good, and I think Dad is experimenting with aioli.
Overall, the orange cream shake was okay, but artificially orange-flavored foods all taste to me like those orange medicine chewables. Normally I’d blame this mishap on foolish ordering, but I was seven restaurants in and running low on menu items.
The jalapeño bites were added mostly as a meal filler, but they slowly grew to be the star of the show. Their co-star was Arby’s “bronco berry” sauce, which was a sweet way to complement the heat of the jalapeño.
Food: ★★★★
Service: ★★★★
Ambience: ★★★
900 Nygaard Street
Stoughton
My order: Loaded Italian sandwich, curly fries and a salted caramel cookie
The loaded Italian was the most deli-tasting sandwich I had in my Arby’s experience. It had some spicy banana peppers which complemented the savory pepperoni and salami very well. The curly fries marked my first repeat order and solidified their spot as Arby’s best invention. The cookie was like a standard fast food cookie, but the salted caramel flavor made it stand out. I think there’s still plenty of track left in front of this salted caramel hype train.
As I was taking the first bites of my meal, I heard the man from the kitchen say “Hi pumpkins!” to two younger girls as they were walking in. This prompted a unified response of “Hi Dad!” followed by his question: “Did you bring me Culver’s?” I know this is the third time the C word has been mentioned, but fast food restaurants like Arby’s and Culver’s often find themselves in direct competition with each other either across the street or sharing a parking lot near an interstate off-ramp.
Food: ★★★★
Service: ★★★★
Ambience: ★★★★
631 Hometown Circle
Verona
My order: French dip sandwich, curly fries and a cherry turnover
This Arby’s opened about a year ago, and it’s how every Arby’s should look. Verona has the wood paneling and smokehouse feel of the Sun Prairie and DeForest locations, but it also includes a Subway-style sandwich station with windows that allow customers to view their sandwich being assembled.
I had run out of patience with the rest of the sides menu, so it was curly fries again for me. It might come as a shock to some Arby’s regulars, but this was the first location where I experimented with the Arby’s dipping sauces. I brought back small tubs of horsey, spicy three pepper, and tangy barbecue sauces for fry dipping. The horsey sauce was good, but the spicy three pepper blew everything else away. It did a great job of retaining the flavor of spicy peppers without overdoing it on the heat.
The French dip would be an exciting menu item to try for the Arby’s regular who’s starting to get bored with the ordinary roast beef. This sandwich adds a slice of swiss cheese and a sub roll for maximum dip-ability into the aus ju.
Arby’s turnovers had been staring me in the face, begging me to buy them at every location, like the gossip magazines or packages of gum at grocery checkouts. Unfortunately, much like gossip magazines, the turnovers looked interesting on the outside but the inside was all filler. I know this is normal for a turnover, but the filler also tasted bad. Anyway, I cleansed my palate with another dip into the spicy three pepper sauce and my meal had a satisfying end.
Food: ★★★
Service: ★★★★
Ambience: ★★★★★
4 Collins Court
(near Monona and McFarland)
My order: MEAT MOUNTAIN SANDWICH
This was the last stop on my journey. And like all great journeys, the middle is made up of uncertainties but the ending is known. And my ending was the MEAT MOUNTAIN SANDWICH. For those of you unaware, the MEAT MOUNTAIN is Arby’s largest sandwich. It comes with two chicken tenders, roast turkey, pit-smoked ham, corned beef, smoked brisket, USDA choice angus steak, roast beef and pepper bacon. “There’s also cheddar and swiss cheese somewhere in there,” says Arby’s on their website. It was the most logical end to my Arby’s quest, and when the cashier told me they didn’t offer it, I almost had a heart attack before I even tried the sandwich. Luckily(?), a manager stepped in and pressed a secret combination of buttons that allowed me to consume this 1,300-calorie behemoth.
I wish I could tell you that each meat from the MEAT MOUNTAIN brought back memories of Dane County Arby’s past. And with bite after unique bite, I had relived my Arby’s trips in various orders and combinations, twisting and manipulating taste and time itself, rearranging a cacophony of flavors into a lunch symphony and ending this article on a high note.
But it didn’t take more than a bite or two to realize this sandwich has no real direction or purpose other than merely existing as an “everything” sandwich. All of the meat flavors kind of blended into one general flavor: sodium. It was all a meat mess I tried to scarf down before it completely fell apart in my hands.
After finishing it in an embarrassingly short amount of time, I realized that the articles I had read online talking about “conquering” or “surviving” the MEAT MOUNTAIN were a bit over-dramatic. I mean, it’s no nothingburger, but it doesn’t take a person with the stomach of Dagwood to finish. In fact, I was only a little more than comfortably full.
This Arby’s shares its building with a gas station and its parking lot with a crash investigation site and a park-and-ride. The bathroom smelled oddly of pork rinds, and it seemed like almost everyone else was pulling carry-on luggage behind them. On my way out, I was pulling some extra weight as well.
Food: ★★★★
Service: ★★★★
Ambience: ★★
After totaling up all the stars, we’re left with this definitive list:
Sun Prairie — 13
Stoughton — 12
Verona — 12
Middleton — 11
East Wash — 10
Monona/McFarland — 10
Cottage Grove (I-39/90) — 9
DeForest — 9
Cottage Grove (I-94) — 7
South Park — 4
The newer locations certainly benefited from some positive changes Arby’s has made to their interiors the past few years. Why this change wasn’t applied to every location equally is beyond me, but it helps to give each Arby’s location a unique feel.
Arby’s has been a pop culture punching bag over the years, but my trips were pleasantly surprising overall. It’s a fast food restaurant that really seems to focus on customer service, and even if you don’t always feel like you’re getting the best bang for your buck, a fast food deli restaurant can accommodate a wide array of tastes. Just don’t ask me to go again for a couple more months.
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