{"id":15677,"date":"2019-08-08T15:09:03","date_gmt":"2019-08-08T20:09:03","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.thebozho.com\/?p=15677"},"modified":"2019-10-15T22:47:06","modified_gmt":"2019-10-16T03:47:06","slug":"madison-thrifting-weird-animal-stuff-august-2019","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.thebozho.com\/madison-thrifting-weird-animal-stuff-august-2019\/","title":{"rendered":"Let\u2019s go thrifting: Weird animal stuff galore at northside Goodwill"},"content":{"rendered":"

Thrift stores are a great representation of the human id. They\u2019re chaotic, kitschy and filled with things that straddle the line between \u201ctrash\u201d and \u201ctreasure.\u201d For this monthly feature, we will head out to Madison-area shops in search of both.<\/em><\/span>\n

Location: <\/strong>Goodwill Madison Northside, 2901 N. Sherman Ave.
\nDate:<\/strong> Aug. 7, 2019<\/p>\n

Our first stop is a matter of convenience: this Goodwill store is literally across the street from my apartment. I\u2019ve been here many times and it\u2019s usually a reliable source of noteworthy junk. My greatest all-time find is a Homer Simpson ceramic figurine that unfortunately lost its head recently in a tragic bathroom cleaning accident. I miss it dearly, but I\u2019ve now replaced it with something even stranger. We\u2019ll get to that shortly.<\/span>\n

\"dolphin<\/p>\n<\/span>\n

Talking dolphin cookie jar<\/h2>\n

Like my beloved Homie, the head was detached from this poor sea mammal\u2019s body. But perhaps more importantly, it still made dolphin sounds when you opened it. I\u2019m not sure how to write out the sound a dolphin makes\u00a0\u2014 but if you\u2019ve seen the Discovery Channel, you know what I\u2019m talking about.<\/p>\n

Price: $3.99<\/strong><\/span>\n

\"florida<\/p>\n<\/span>\n

Florida clock<\/h2>\n

You\u2019ve heard about \u201cFlorida Man<\/a>.\u201d Now, there\u2019s \u201cFlorida clock.\u201d It reminds me of my high school band trip to Orlando when I had to suffer through the worst sunburn of my life on a 20-hour bus ride. The clock wasn\u2019t telling time when I found it, but it seemed to be in good enough shape that with some new batteries it should work fine. That is, if you can get by the actual clock part being flipped upside down. Go home, Florida clock. You\u2019re drunk.<\/p>\n

Price: $4.99<\/strong><\/span>\n

\"Fish<\/p>\n<\/span>\n

Fish bookends<\/h2>\n

Fish stuff is a staple of midwestern decorating. And honestly, these bookends are actually kind of dope. I would have bought them if I didn\u2019t live in a tiny apartment that barely fits two people and a cat. Hopefully someone can give them a nice wood-paneled basement to live in.<\/p>\n

Price: $3.99<\/strong><\/span>\n

\"JFK<\/p>\n<\/span>\n

JFK decorative plate<\/h2>\n

There\u2019s no telling what good John F. Kennedy would have done for this country had his life not been tragically cut short. So what better way to remember the 35th president than with this decorative plate? It\u2019s a lifetime of public service all wrapped up in a few inches of ceramics. I bought this one, btw. How could I not? He was, after all, a hyper-charismatic telepathic knight<\/a>.<\/p>\n

Price: $1.99 <\/strong>(an absolute steal<\/em>)<\/span>\n

\"Rock<\/p>\n<\/span>\n

Whatever the fuck this is<\/h2>\n

Clearly, this is some heinous playtime experiment that makes Sid from Toy Story<\/em> look well-adjusted. It\u2019s a Rock \u2019Em, Sock \u2019Em Robot imprisoned in a Little Live Pets cage. My guess is that it accidentally killed the blue robot in an especially tense boxing match. Or it\u2019s an innocent toy, wrongfully locked up for a crime it didn\u2019t commit. We may never know.<\/p>\n

Price: $1.99<\/strong><\/span>\n

\"'The<\/p>\n<\/span>\n

\u2018The Matrix\u2019 by Jonathan Aycliffe<\/h2>\n

KID: \u201cMom, can we get The Matrix<\/em>?\u201d
\nMOM: \u201cWe have The Matrix <\/em>at home.\u201d
\nTHE MATRIX AT HOME:<\/p>\n

Price: $0.99<\/strong><\/span>\n

\"adult<\/p>\n<\/span>\n

Just a bin full of adult diapers<\/h2>\n

Exactly what it sounds like.<\/p>\n

Price: $1.99-$2.99<\/strong><\/span>\n

\"Stitched<\/p>\n<\/span>\n

Stitched panda art<\/h2>\n

A recurring theme of this Goodwill excursion is \u201cweird animal stuff.\u201d Accordingly, they had this stitched portrait of two panda bears available for purchase. It\u2019s very big, so if you have the wall space to spare you may want to invest.<\/p>\n

Price: $4.99<\/strong><\/span>\n

\"'Melodies<\/p>\n<\/span>\n

\u2018Melodies of Love\u2019 by Lenny Dee<\/h2>\n

According to Discogs<\/a>, Melodies of Love<\/em> is a collection of organ covers. It includes two songs written by Kris Kristofferson, which I guess is pretty cool. But unlike that ogre, Lenny Dee exudes raw, animalistic sexuality. I had to take a cold shower after holding this album for too long. I mean, just look at that face. Daddy likey<\/a>.<\/p>\n

Price: $1.99<\/strong><\/span>\n

\"koala<\/p>\n<\/span>\n

Koala lamp<\/h2>\n

I don\u2019t know if this is a fun fact or deeply embarrassing, but I actually have this same lamp, albeit in a different color. Mine is a gray koala, and I got it years ago with the intention of giving it as a white elephant gift. But until that day comes, it will live in my storage unit. Now you too can be prepared for your next gag gift.<\/p>\n

Price: $3.99<\/strong><\/span>\n

\"Bread<\/p>\n<\/span>\n

Greatest bread paddle ever<\/h2>\n

I didn\u2019t see this beauty until I was on my way out the door, as they had it positioned behind the checkouts. It\u2019s just a bread paddle, but it also says \u201cbetter breadless than headless.\u201d I could see that being a slogan for a straight-edge hardcore band formed by people with celiac disease. I regret not buying it and hope it\u2019s still there the next time I stop in. Grain free or die.<\/p>\n

Price: $3.99<\/strong><\/span>\n

In total, this was a pretty average trip to Goodwill. Yeah, there was some weird stuff \u2014 mostly animal-related \u2014 but thankfully not enough that I ended up spending a bunch of money. And looking at my new-old JFK plate, I can\u2019t help thinking it was successful.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Thrift stores are a great representation of the human id. They\u2019re chaotic, kitschy and filled with things that straddle the line between \u201ctrash\u201d and \u201ctreasure.\u201d For this monthly feature, we […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":9,"featured_media":15682,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[5155],"tags":[19,10577,10574,1921,10576],"yoast_head":"\nLet's go thrifting: Weird animal stuff galore at Goodwill - The Bozho<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Thrift stores are a great representation of the human id. 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