{"id":18464,"date":"2020-02-17T14:44:05","date_gmt":"2020-02-17T20:44:05","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.thebozho.com\/?p=18464"},"modified":"2020-02-26T16:12:43","modified_gmt":"2020-02-26T22:12:43","slug":"madison-thrifting-scary-carey-february-2020","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.thebozho.com\/madison-thrifting-scary-carey-february-2020\/","title":{"rendered":"Let’s go thrifting: Scary Carey will stalk your nightmares"},"content":{"rendered":"

Thrift stores are a great representation of the human id. They\u2019re chaotic, kitschy and filled with things that straddle the line between \u201ctrash\u201d and \u201ctreasure.\u201d For this monthly feature, we will head out to Madison-area shops in search of both.<\/em><\/p>\n

Location: <\/strong>Goodwill, 2111 McCoy Rd., Sun Prairie
\nDate: <\/strong>Feb. 12, 2020<\/p>\n

Goodwill Sun Prairie<\/a> is across the parking lot from the Walmart pharmacy that keeps me properly medicated. As such, this edition was a matter of convenience. But I\u2019ve had decent luck with this location before \u2014 usually in the realm of books or movies and the occasional wacky t-shirt \u2014 and had no reason to doubt it. And incidentally, on this trip I found some of the weirdest shit I\u2019ve found to date at any<\/em> thrift store. So there\u2019s that.<\/p>\n

Also, a reminder: I\u2019d love to hear suggestions of non-chain shops in the Madison area. So if you have an idea of somewhere I can go digging that isn\u2019t a Goodwill, St. Vinny\u2019s or Salvation Army, please email me<\/a>. (Or just email me in general! Let\u2019s be pen pals.)<\/span>\n

\"Stellarscope\"<\/p>\n<\/span>\n

<\/a>Stellarscope<\/h2>\n

To be honest, I had no idea what a Stellarscope was before encountering one for this piece. But being the Intrepid Reporter\u2122 that I am, I did my research. A stellarscope is a device used to locate stars and constellations, which sounds awesome and now I immediately regret not buying it. Also, I feel like an idiot for not having learned what a stellarscope is by this point in my life. But in my defense, I went to film school. I don\u2019t know anything.<\/p>\n

Price: $9.99<\/strong><\/span>\n

\"London<\/p>\n<\/span>\n

<\/a>\u2018London Has Fallen\u2019 promotional hat<\/h2>\n

Speaking of my cinematic education, I can tell you with expert opinion that Gerard Butler\u2019s Fallen<\/em> series is trash. The first, 2013\u2019s Olympus Has Fallen<\/em>, is acceptable at best. A solid \u201cC,\u201d if you will. The 2016 follow-up, London Has Fallen<\/em>, was one of the most outrageously stupid movies I\u2019ve ever seen. And from what I understand<\/a>, last year\u2019s Angel Has Fallen<\/em> reaches new levels of dumb. But there\u2019s a reason they keep getting made: people watch them! So if you\u2019re one of the many Fallen <\/em>stans out there, pick up this hat and tell the world loud and proud about the bad choices you\u2019ve made.<\/p>\n

Price: $2.99<\/strong><\/span>\n

\"Virtuous<\/p>\n<\/span>\n

<\/a>\u201cVirtuous Woman\u201d duffel bag<\/h2>\n

Have a virtuous woman in your life with an overnight trip planned? Because I\u2019ve I got an oddly perfect gift for you! (Side note: I\u2019d like to think this came from one of those spam pages with t-shirts that say nonsensical things like \u201cNever mess with a VIRTUOUS WOMAN who was born in MARCH and loves WHEAT THINS!\u201d)<\/p>\n

Price: $5.99<\/strong><\/span>\n

\"Cattle<\/p>\n<\/span>\n

<\/a>L. Ron Hubbard\u2019s \u2018Cattle King for a Day\u2019<\/h2>\n

This collection of short western stories comes from author L. Ron Hubbard, otherwise known as the father of Scientology. Granted, Hubbard\u2019s home-brewed, sci-fi religion is an entirely different wormhole to fall into, filled with intrigue, mystery and, if At the Drive-In\/The Mars Volta singer Cedric Bixler-Zavala is to be believed, retaliatory dog poisonings<\/a>. (On second thought, maybe don\u2019t buy the book.)<\/p>\n

Price: 99\u00a2<\/strong><\/span>\n

\"Chix\"<\/p>\n<\/span>\n

<\/a>Lil\u2019 chicken statuette<\/h2>\n

This has big \u201cgrandma\u2019s house\u201d energy. (Also, I just think they\u2019re cute. What of it?)<\/p>\n

Price: $2.99<\/strong><\/span>\n

\"Hungover<\/p>\n<\/span>\n

<\/a>Hungover Santa Claus<\/h2>\n

As soon as Santa finishes his deliveries on Christmas Eve, it\u2019s time to party. So it shouldn\u2019t surprise anyone that the big guy probably spent most of Christmas Day in a stupor, maybe doing whippets with Noel the reindeer<\/a>. And he\u2019s understandably taking Boxing Day to sleep off his hangover.<\/p>\n

Price: $1.99<\/strong><\/span>\n

\"Frozen<\/p>\n<\/span>\n

<\/a>\u2018Frozen\u2019 waffle maker<\/h2>\n

Though I\u2019ve never seen the film, kids fucking love Frozen<\/em>. I\u2019m convinced you could box up a dog turd, slap Elsa and pals on the side and sell millions of them. Anyway, this particular piece of Frozen <\/em>swag is much more appealing: it presses waffles that look like the movie\u2019s snowman sidekick Olaf. And at the very least, hot and fluffy waffles are much more palatable than dog poo.<\/p>\n

Price: $7.99<\/strong><\/span>\n

\"Deer\"<\/p>\n<\/span>\n

<\/a>Taxidermy deer heads<\/h2>\n

I\u2019m a little surprised I\u2019d never seen a hunting trophy on one of my previous thrift excursions. Apparently these deer weren\u2019t doing it anymore for the sportsperson who bagged them. That means you can now have their cold, lifeless eyes mounted on your wall without ever having to freeze your ass off in a deer blind. I would call this my creepiest find to date, but it pales in comparison to the true highlight of this particular Goodwill\u2026<\/p>\n

Price: $74.99<\/strong> for foreground head in picture, $54.99<\/strong> for background<\/span>\n

\"Scary<\/p>\n<\/span>\n

\u201cScary Carey\u201d<\/h2>\n

I\u2019ve got a few questions here: What the fuck, and why? Who made this? Why does it exist? It\u2019s an unsettling, wooden rendering of half a woman that I\u2019ve named \u201cScary Carey\u201d for a couple of reasons. One, it\u2019s creepy as hell; the eyes seemed to follow me around the store. And two, it bears a striking resemblance to English actress Carey Mulligan<\/a>. I can\u2019t think of a practical reason to buy this, unless you\u2019re an amateur sorcerer planning to enchant it and have it destroy your enemies. Or maybe you\u2019re just a big Carey Mulligan fan. (And who isn\u2019t? She\u2019s wonderful.)<\/p>\n

Price: $49.99<\/strong><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Thrift stores are a great representation of the human id. They\u2019re chaotic, kitschy and filled with things that straddle the line between \u201ctrash\u201d and \u201ctreasure.\u201d For this monthly feature, we […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":9,"featured_media":18470,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[5155],"tags":[19,10577,10574,4480,10576,10575],"yoast_head":"\nLet's go thrifting: Scary Carey at Goodwill Sun Prairie - The Bozho<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Thrift stores are a great representation of the human id. 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